No yesterdays on the road

February 21, 2012

Dear Ms. Kearns,

I am writing today to express my interest in your open position of Cuddle Partner. I first learned of this position through a post on your tumblr (nydotr.tumblr.com) and immediately felt compelled to apply. I believe my outstanding cuddling skills, immense enjoyment of movies in bed, and extensive experience in napping make me an excellent candidate for this position.

Firstly, I am well-versed in several forms of cuddling. In my 23 years of cuddling, I have served both as a big spoon and a little spoon, and am comfortable in both positions. In addition to this, I am proficient in bed-cuddling, chair-cuddling, couch-cuddling, and even have certification in picnic-blanket-cuddling. I constantly strive to keep my cuddling credentials up to date with current market trends.

Not merely a skillful cuddler, I also have the enthusiasm you are looking for in a Cuddle Partner. Just two weeks ago, I spent an evening at home watching a movie with three of my friends, during which time we cuddled. I absolutely love watching movies in bed, and would welcome the opportunity to do so with you.

For years, my friends have jokingly called me the “Narcoleptic Wonder.” This alter-ego is my superheroine self with the unimaginable power to fall asleep at any given moment. I believe this ability would serve me well when called upon to nap while acting as your Cuddle Partner.

I would love to speak with you more about my interest in this position at a time and place of your convenience. Thank you for your consideration; I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Tessa

PS The possibility of the extra responsibility of kissing that you may expect from a Cuddle Partner does not deter my interest in the position, but rather heightens it.